


They Don't Teach This in Chemistry Class

by skilfulwolfman (skybluemullet)



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Attempted Seduction, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Shenanigans, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-31
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-29 07:33:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5120231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skybluemullet/pseuds/skilfulwolfman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One moment on the verge of tears because of a misunderstanding, the second making dirty jokes and rolling around; Josh is truly a force of nature.</p>
<p>Drunk or not, he's amazingly relentless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	They Don't Teach This in Chemistry Class

**Author's Note:**

> **Warning** : Puke/vomit is mentioned multiple times in this fanfiction.
> 
> [Sorry to my subscribers about the multiple emails you probably recived about this fic. I was having some problems with the first one I posted so I had to delete it and post this one instead.]

“Fuck…” Mike actually growls as he flips through the pages of his Chemistry book.

The hardback beast on the coffee table in front of him is huge, and goddamn is it expensive, and Mike gets absolutely no enjoyment out of exploring its surplus of boring bullshit content. Page after page, he realizes more and more why he stays as far away from the College of Science as he possibly can – despite his current predicament.

Sure, Science is useful and he respects those brave souls with the drive to submerge themselves into mountains of information, but Mike isn’t one of those people.

His distaste for this demon of a textbook, however, doesn’t stop him from being stuck filling his science prerequisites with a subject his father deems worthy. He’d much rather be out with his boyfriend getting fucked up at the party Matt is throwing than be hidden away in his dorm filling in the holes scattered through his professor's lectures.

Fuck Josh, if Mike is being honest.

Lucky bastard got to take Biology instead of Chemistry and spends his Saturday nights deep in their University’s social nightlife with Chris and Sam, and his Sunday mornings hungover in Mike’s bed, clinging to him like he’s a life preserver.

Mike, on the other hand, can’t even enjoy cuddling with his dick of a boyfriend because his mind is always still wrapped up in remembering the elements of the periodic table from his study session the night before.

Mike huffs and highlights an entire paragraph of unread text as he fumes over his jealousy.

Despite the fact that Mike sneaked his way into a drama major - under Josh’s cinematic influence and without his father’s knowledge - he can’t deny that it helps to have a few more intellectual classes to keep his secret life goals, and surprisingly his boyfriend, under wraps during weekly checkup calls from his folks.

If conversations with his father are stuck on Political and Lab Sciences, it make it a hundred times harder to let it slip that he got a standing ovation during last week’s monologue, or that Josh almost burnt down his dorm last week during what has now been dubbed “The Popcorn Incident” by their friends.

Long story short, never mix bag-free popcorn kernels, a hand-me-down microwave, two bottles of Tequila, and an alcohol saturated Josh Washington. Mike’s learned that the outcome involves cleaning up a mountain of blackened, crispy popcorn pieces and kissing every inch of the eldest Washington kid’s burnt hands until they’re wrapped safely under two layers of dinosaur Band-Aids.

Okay, well, maybe that was pretty nice – in the moment, and in hindsight now, as he stares at the dark stain that sticks out like a sore thumb against the white carpet of his otherwise spotless room. The sight of Josh’s lingering effect on Mike’s life pulls a smile onto his lips as he pretends to underline something important in his notes.

The pieces of paper are a mess of doodles (Hannah’s Influence), color-coded bullet points (Jess’s Influence), and shorthand (Emily’s influence). Josh’s contribution to the disaster is a number down at the bottom of each page so that Mike can rearrange them when Josh snatches them out of his hands to scatter them on the floor so the two boys can indulge in flailing limbs and locked lips.

A rhythm of buzzing pulls Mike's attention away from his mock studying as he realizes his phone is ringing. The small device is on the floor beside him, so he answers and puts it to his ear – elbow keeping it in place - without checking the Caller ID. He knows the set of pulses that are assigned to his boyfriend’s contact, so it’s pointless to expect anything else.

“I hope this is an emergency because I’m studying for a midterm right now.”

“Mike! It’s a BIG,” Josh emphasizes the word as it practically rolls its way through the phone into Mike’s ear, causing him to shudder, “emergency!”

There is house music blaring in the background and Mike can hear the countless cups of alcohol that have passed through Josh’s lips tonight. He’s obviously still at Matt’s party, so if there is an emergency, it must be bad.

Mike drops his pen and takes the phone in his hand, a small wave of fear rolling in with the idea that something could be wrong with Josh. “Dude, what’s up? You okay?”

“I’m NOT okay!” Josh slurs, a small laugh following his sentence. “I got a HUGEEEE problem!”

Mike makes a face, eyebrows tensed together, as he continues his investigation. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

There is a long pause on the other end that is followed by what sounds like some kind of commotion. Mike’s mind wanders to the worst possible conclusions. Josh must’ve gotten himself in trouble with someone and is now on the verge of getting his ass beat. Or maybe someone had a little bit too much of something and is in need of major medical attention – Josh would think to call Mike instead of the hospital.

Josh was never good with hospitals.

“Josh! Talk to me.” Mike shuts his book and takes a glance at the clock on his dresser – almost midnight. It’s still too earlier for Josh’s normal call, so a bit of panic rises at the base of Mike’s throat. “Tell me what’s wrong so I can help you.”

“Mike,” Josh responds as the commotion settles back to the house music. “I gotta suck your dick. I gotta!”

“Hold on. Hold on.” Mike freezes – convinced he’s heard Josh’s words wrong. “You gotta  _what_?”

“Dude, your dick! I gotta suck it! It’s an emergencyyyy.”

Mike blinks a few times before the realization that those words are not in his imagination rushes into him with a neck breaking force. He rests his face flat against the palm of his hand and takes a deep breath.

Of course, how could he expect anything else? Only Josh Washington calls at midnight, screaming about emergencies, only to say something so absolutely ridiculous. The two boys haven’t even gotten close to having sex yet – at best they’ve had a few heavy make-out sessions.

Josh is shy, believe it or not, and Mike doesn’t want to push him too much. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t also a little scared to take the plunge too, despite his expertise with the ladies, but he's waiting for the right time.

They’re always joking about it, but Mike knows that when Josh is ready, he’ll know. That’s the way he is. It’s not a coincidence that this sudden false conviction has come on while he’s intoxicated.

Something tells Mike that booze is playing a trick on Josh’s mind.

“Josh, that is not an emergency. You’re drunk.”

“I’M NOT DRUNK!” Josh’s alcohol induced anger sounds ridiculous when coupled with his current words. “It’s an EMERGENCY, you ASSHOLE!”

“Babe, put Chris on the phone please.”

“Nooooo! I gotta s-“

“Josh, I would be so game if you weren’t super drunk right now. I know you don’t believe me, but it’s true. So, no. It’s not going to happen.” Mike tries to sound authoritative, hoping that Josh will give into him if he can pull it off. He feels bad about possibly hurting his boyfriend’s feelings but sometimes this is a necessity when Josh is so stuck on something like this. “Now, put Chris on, please.”

“YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, MICHAEL!” Josh bellows into the phone in his best Tommy Wiseau impression, before immediately dropping his distressed tone. "So, how’s your sex life?”

Mike’s authority crumbles into laughter as he shakes his head vigorously. “Don’t you dare use mixed up  _The Room_ quotes at me right now, you asshole.”

“I did not quote it - I did notttttt!”

Mike drops his eyes into a glare directed at the blank wall of his dorm room as if his gaze could bore into Josh from here.

Why was he dating this adorable fucking idiot again?

Oh right, because he’s fucking adorable.

“You know what? Fuck you. Let me talk to Chris already!”

“I’m trying to make both of those things happen for you - AYEEEEEE CHRISTOPHER!” Josh mumbles and yells at the same time, the strain behind his speech implying vomit was coming soon. “Michael needs your help!”

Mike rolls his eyes and sees a vision of himself cleaning his sheets already, and not for sexy reasons. Puke was on the way, and Josh would be the one needing help.

Josh’s voice retreats away from Mike and the phone as he grumbles out incoherent babble about “dicks” and “emergencies” to someone in the distance. A new voice overpowers the drunk’s with a playful annoyance that mirror’s Mike’s.

This one is a million times more sober than the last, and Mike is honestly kind of proud that the two reckless nerds listened to his rant about designated drivers. Chris is obviously the more responsible of the two, however, so he must’ve been the poor sap assigned to the job.

“I didn’t do this, I swear.”

“Oh, believe me, I know who did this. I -” Mike’s cut off by Josh yelling something close to the phone, but he can’t quite make it out. “What did he say?”

“Apparently Josh is now a new breed of parrot that can only say, quote, ‘I need to suck Mike’s dick,’ end quote.” Chris chuckles and Mike feels his face heat with a bit of embarrassment. “I say that it’s only fitting that we name this new creature after his favorite phrase. 'Dick,’ perhaps?”

Mike claps his hands close enough so Chris can hear it loud and clearly. “Genius! Who’s Josh anyways? I only know Dick Washington.”

“Well, whatever his name is, he’s out of control.”

Mike sighs as he rubs the space above his eyebrows with his thumb and index finger. He needs to study for his exam if he wants any chance of passing, but Josh needs him. He glances at the closed book in front of him and the pile of notes scattered around it.

There’s no helping it.

“Man, just bring him here. I’ll watch him for the rest of the night.”

“Bro, you sure? He said earlier that you were studying.”

“It’s fine.” Mike tries his hardest to sound convincing – maybe if he’s good enough, he can make himself believe it too. “I’ll just study all day tomorrow. No big deal.”

Mike originally planned to spend tomorrow practicing for his audition next week for the University’s end of the semester production of Little Shop of Horrors. He was gunning for the lead role, Seymour, which meant he had to be completely prepared.

But when time needs to be made for Josh, Mike makes it.

That's just the way things are.

“If you’re sure, I’ll get him out of here soon. I’d rather be hanging out with Ashley than here anyways.” The last bit is quiet, like Chris is talking more to himself than to Mike.

It’s no surprise that Chris would find little enjoyment in a party that lacks a certain redhead. Chris has never been that much of a partier anyways, so of course he would bail the first chance he gets.

Those are the facts.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Just don’t get yourselves killed on the way over here.”

“Aye aye, Captain! Everyone will be making it out with all their limbs - scout’s honor!” Chris replies as a rush of distant words pulls Mike’s attention.

It’s obviously Josh and he’s obviously in some kind of distress, but before the brunet can make sense of what he’s saying, or ask for Chris to repeat it, the line goes dead.

Assuming that he can take Chris’s final sentence as confirmation of their arrival, Mike tosses his phone onto his nightstand, and tries to fill out a few index cards.

He needs to get at least the words he can’t even pronounce down before Josh gets here. It does throw a wrench into his strict study schedule to have Josh show up now, but if he can get the very basics of his study guide prepared, he can work on the details tomorrow.

Maybe he’ll get lucky and find some time for his audition prep – a man can dream, can’t he?

After getting a total of 5 cards finished, Mike looks at his clock again. It’s almost 12:30, which means they would be here soon, if Chris was as good at convincing Josh to leave as Josh was of convincing himself that he needed another drink.

Mike gives up, finally rising off the floor and walking over to the quaint bathroom attached to his single person dorm room. Under the sink, a tall blue bucket sits ready for nights like this.

The bucket is known as “the official puke bucket,” and it was damn good at its job.  Mike’s mother had bought it for him when he moved in for holding cleaning supplies, but it quickly found its use in other cleaning situations.

He retrieves the bucket and a roll of paper towels, exiting to place them in their place at the side of his bed on the tile floor. Once finished, he falls backward onto his bed – arms spread wide. He closes his eyes and takes a long, deep breath. It actually feels good to not focus on his studies, and instead direct his attention at something less boring – and Josh was anything but boring.

If his biggest problem at the moment is that his boyfriend is a playful, sick drunk – he can’t complain.

Just as his body shifts into the perfect lounge position, there is a loud rustling outsider his door that turns into a string of loud, strong knocks. The sound is so loud that Mike can feel the vibrations in his bones as he shoots up from the bed.

By the time he makes it to the door, however, the knocking stops and is replaced by loud shushing and laughing.

If they were actually trying to be quiet, they were failing miserably.

Mike opens the door to the sight of a wide-grin wearing Josh hanging off of a distressed Chris. The two boys are locked by their elbows and Josh is leaning into Chris like a tree that’s lost its roots.

Josh does, however, have a tight grip on an empty vodka bottle - lack of motor skills not getting in the way of that true love.

“Heyyyy!” Once Josh sees Mike, his eyes appear to brighten up even more, despite their heavy eyelids. He releases Chris instantly, and throws his left foot forward so he can stumble towards Mike. “I’m here to save you, BRUH!”

"Woah there!" Mike moves forward quickly to catch Josh, his hands on either side of his shoulders to keep him steady. "You're not saving anyone like this."

Josh laughs, face all flushed and pupils blown, as he wraps his arms around Mike's neck and pushes himself into him with more force. "I got a suurrrpiseee for you."

Mike grins at him, and pats his sides a few time as he laughs a little. "Do you now?"

"Yeahhh! It's really good too, dude." Josh lets the bottle in his hand fall to the ground with a loud clack, but neither of them acknowledges it.

Instead, Mike glances over Josh's shoulder to look at Chris. The blond is staring down the hallway, his leg tapping up and down like a runner at the starting line.

"Hey, Chris." Mike holds up one of his hands in acknowledgment of the other visitor. "Thanks for bringing him here, man."

Josh wiggles around in Mike's arms to contort himself so that he can get a good look at Chris. "CHRISTOPHER IS A HERO!"

Chris rubs the back of his neck and lets out a sigh. "You're not going to be saying that tomorrow when I make you clean your puke off the side of my car."

"Pft." Josh weakly kicks his foot backwards in Chris's direction, leaving his body to be held up solely by Mike. "Not going to happen, Cochise."

"We'll see about that," Chris pokes a finger at Josh before directing his attention to Mike. "You need any help or will you free me from this monster? He's a menace."

"Nah, man. Get out of here."

"Thank you." Chris presses his hands together and bows his head towards Mike, his feet already leading him down the hallway. "You're the true hero here, Mike. You're a goddamn super hero."

"At least someone appreciates me..."

"Give Ashley a big o' kiss for me!" Josh ignores Mike's words to scream after Chris as he cups his hand over his mouth and blows a kiss in Chris's direction.

Chris turns on his heels and reaches up to grab the invisible kiss as he sprints backwards. He looks down at his hand, makes a face of pure disgust at it, and slams the imaginary kiss into the carpeted floor of the dorm hallway. "Not today, bitch!"

"Nooooo!" Josh makes a sound that reminds Mike of a wolf howling in pain as he flings his body backwards and shakes his fists in Chris's direction. "You wound me, brother! We're not friends anymore! You're killing me!"

"Just don't die on Mike's bed." Chris is already out the glass doors that lead to the stairwell, but he peaks his head back in to yell at his apparently ex-best friend. "Suspected necrophilia is not a good look, even on the great and powerful Michael Munroe!"

And then he's gone.

Mike shuts his eyes tightly, flashes of his neighbors hearing his name and "necrophilia" in the same sentence making him regret all the life choices that got him to this point. "That's it.. I'm going to kill him..."

Josh glances back up at Mike, his bottom lip jutted out a little bit. "Because he threw away my kiss, right? How HORRIBLE!"

"There are more important things in the world for me to worry about than you and your kisses." Mike starts to walk backwards into his room so he can separate himself and any neighbors that might be exiting into the hallway soon.

Once they're both safely inside, Josh kicks the door closed and crinkles his nose at Mike. "No wayyyy!"

"Speaking of kisses," Mike huffs out as he waddles Josh over to the bed as his strength begins to fail him, "Ashley gets one now?"

Josh gasps so loud in response that Mike almost sends them both tumbling onto the floor. "Are you jealous?"

"Oh yes, you got me." Mike helps Josh sit down on the edge of the bed, and stares down at him. "I'm so jealous."

"Knew it!" Josh falls backwards onto the bed, making the springs creak and groan under his weight. He wiggles around a bit, getting comfortable on the plush comforter that Mike's mom bought him before sending him off to the dorms.

She'd been so worried about Mike being uncomfortable that she bought the most expensive bedding set she could find. If only she could see who was using them now.

"Doesn't matter anyways," Josh rolls over so he can flash a smile up at Mike - a mask of innocence that could fool no one. "Your surprise is better than a kiss."

"Let me guess, freedom from you."

"You wish." Josh pats the bed and motions for him to sit down. "Come here. You standing over me is kinda freaking me out."

Mike raises an eyebrow. Something tells him that Josh is far from freaked out, but he gives in anyways. Honestly there is little to gain from standing over Josh like he's a small child who needs watching. He might be acting childish in his drunkenness, but he's far from a child. He's older than Mike for Christ's sake. He settles down beside Josh, but doesn't copy him by laying down. Mike does need to be able to access the vomit pail if the time came. "Better?"

Josh tilts his head side to side, his eyelids fighting to stay open. "Much. So, your surprise..."

"I swear if you say what I think you’re going to say -"

"I'm going to suck your dick!"

"There it is..." Mike puts his face into his hands, his brain starting to break from how ridiculous his life was becoming with each word that exits his boyfriend's mouth. It was like watching a train wreck while still being on the train. The cosmos must be getting some major enjoyment out of making him suffer like this.

Despite all this, he laughs. He laughs so hard he has lean back against the wall as his chest rises and falls wildly. 

"It's good for your health," Josh points out, as he leans over Mike's chest. He has to use Mike for support, but he manages to appear pretty steady and sure of himself. "I'm just trying to help you out, man. I'm a healer."

"So, you've become a doctor since I last saw you?" Mike lets his hands fall from his face so he can place them on Josh's cheeks. Josh's skin is boiling, a sharp contrast from Mike's skin. Josh shivers into his palms as he continues, "You have a PHD in sucking dick now?"

"Sure do..." Josh wiggles his eyebrows and presses himself forward so he can kiss Mike.

Their lips press together for a brief moment, and Mike tries to ignore what Chris said about his car. There is nothing glamorous about kissing Josh anyways - all teeth bumping together and heat - but there is a sweetness that makes Mike's stomach ache in the best way possible. He's heard from sources - mainly Hannah and Chris - that he was Josh's first kiss, and it's pretty obvious by his skill set. While Josh might not be the most experienced kisser that Mike has locked lips with, he's the best in his own way. There are no throw away kisses with Josh Washington - only purposeful ones.

Mike likes that about him.

As they part, Josh presses his forehead against Mike's and continues, "... and it's a major medical procedure. We could both die!"

"Why would I want to participate in something that could kill me?" Mike can't keep his eyes off Josh's lips. A part of him - the weakest part - is falling prey to the other boy's advances. It's this part of him that gains complete control of his limbs as he hypnotizes himself with the uneven features of Josh's face. His thumb moves on its own, tracing small shapes into his cheek before sneaking its way down to the corner of his lips.

Josh either notices or just has perfect timing, because he pushes his head into Mike's embrace so that his fingertip glides over the chapped, pink surface of his mouth. He breathes out his next words, punctuating his intentions with his raspy tone. "We could die together."

Despite the fact that Mike's skin is freezing in comparison to the heat of Josh, his stomach is burning. The sensation of that must've come from hell itself, and spreads both directions of his body, and leaves the brunet breathless.

A sticky sweet smell should be associated with this feeling, Mike thinks, but there is nothing of the sort in the air.

Emily and Jess always smelled amazing at moments like this - swirls of vanilla, citrus, or some candy scent. Perfume would roll across their skin to rest on the tip of Mike's nose like fairy dust. It was like getting transported to another world by some kind of mythical creature.

Josh is nothing like that. There's never any sweetness in him.

The scent that lingers against his body is an untouched, natural smell that reminds Mike of when his family would go on long vacations and leave their house unattended. When they'd return home, all traces of human life were free from the air. With the windows shut tight, the space was able to create its own unique aroma that lingered on everything.

Mike's mom always hated it, saying it smelled "empty" and "unloved," but Mike liked the way his sheets kept the staleness for weeks afterward. The smell always served as a sort of reminder that the world moved without him there to move it.

Josh smells - in the most unromanticized sense - like home.

Mike closes his eyes and takes a minute to regain control. Josh is not in any sort of state to be doing this, and Mike needs to muster up some sort of resistance for the both of them. "You sure can talk nice when you want to."

"That's my special ability." Josh's hands are moving down Mike's chest as his speaks, pulling at the fabric as they move. He's sloppy, but he's not incapable. He hooks Mike's belt loops and flashes a playful smirk as he starts to unbuckle the leather belt that's threaded through them.

"Josh, I don't think..." Mike's hands are frozen on Josh's lips and his words lose all volume as the metal prong on his belt pops free of the leather. His mouth moves, but nothing comes out but air and an embarrassing laugh that dies against another kiss.

It's amazing that a man who couldn't even walk a minute ago now has Mike pinned to the bed in such a helpless manner - and that the only reason he's even the slightest bit bothered is his persistent doubt in Josh's true conviction. It's this small uncertainty, however, that finally pushes its way through Mike's bones and sends one of his hands down to rest against Josh's.

He stops him, a pain in his chest rippling through his muscles as Josh glances up in confusion.

"Y-you really don't want..?" Josh's voice falters at the end. All the color in his face is lost in the lamp light - his gaze tired and lost somewhere on the wall behind Mike. 

At first, Mike thinks that he's completely broken Josh's heart. The other boy is obviously in pain, his eyebrows crinkled up and his Adam's apple bobbing. It isn't until he begins to gag and the hand that was unbuckling Mike's belt shoots up to his mouth, does Mike realize what's actually hurting Josh is located in his stomach, not his chest.

"Dude?"

Josh's upper body is off the bed within seconds as he proceeds to empty the content of his stomach somewhere on Mike's floor. His weight bares down on Mike and he tightens his other hand into his shirt for support. 

Mike is trapped, pinned between the bed and a puking Josh with nothing to do but rub his boyfriend's back and whisper "it's okay," over and over again like it's actually helping. With useless hope, he prays that Josh's aim is good enough to hit the bucket, and he thanks God that his gag reflex isn't too sensitive. The last thing they need is both of them throwing up on each other.

Mike scrunches up his nose at the thought.

Josh spits after another hack and lifts himself back up onto the bed before resting his head against Mike's neck. With Josh's chest heaving against his own, Mike takes a look at his floor. Amazingly, most of the mess is confined safely in the bucket, but some is splattered across the roll of paper towels and his rug.

He's not looking forward to cleaning that up tomorrow, but all things considered - it could be worse.

"I-I'm sorry." Josh's voice is so tiny and muffled that Mike has a hard time making out the small apology.

He rubs the back of Josh's neck with his index finger and thumb while he tries not to sound bothered by his future in vomit disposal. "Look, you didn't puke on me, so everything's peachy."

Josh trashes his head from side to side. "No, I fucked up BIG TIME."

"Dude, it's just puke, I can clean it up."

"It was supposed to be sexy." Sitting up abruptly, Josh straddles Mike - his face cast in shadows. He wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand, the other resting on the center of Mike's chest. "But, I can't even do that right. Fuck."

Mike watches as Josh's chest continues to rise and fall in a rapid rhythmic pattern, causing his breathing to be loud and unsteady.

"I don't get it. Why do you suddenly need to be sexy?"

"They said you like SUPER sexy," Josh answers simply.

"They?"

"Emily and Jess." Josh sways a little, his balance not the strongest in his current state. "They said the only reason you date anyone is to have sex with them."

Narrowing his eyes, Mike grabs hold of Josh's waist to keep him stable, annoyed by this awful misconception of his romantic interests. "That's not true."

Josh ignores him and continues, "They said if I didn't do something, you'd find someone who would." 

"That's also not true." Mike sits up, scooting Josh down to his lap as he rises. He doesn't say much so Josh gets the chance to speak, even if he's incorrect and drunk.

"Shit, dude, I just like you. I don't want you to hate me because... because I haven't sucked your dick." Josh sniffles a few times, his face red and irritated from a combination of sickness and sadness. "That'd fucking suck."

"Yeah, it would," Mike agrees, using his hands to wipe away some of messiness of his boyfriend's face. He’s going to give both Emily and Jess a very strong talking once this mess is cleared up. Even if they don't know how sensitive an intoxicated Josh can be, getting him involved in some petty war on and about Mike wasn't okay. It was pretty shitty actually. "But, you don't have to worry about that. I don't give a shit if we have sex or not.”

"So, you don't want to do it?" Josh looks tired, his eyes heavy with bags and all the jubilation behind his words lost to the darkness of the room. Mike half expects him to yawn, or pass out, but he remains present. He must really be worried.

"That's not what I said, idiot," Mike corrects him as he jokingly pinches the tip of Josh's nose to lighten the mood. "I'm saying that I'm capable of waiting. I'm not a fucking animal."

"You sure?" Josh swats Mike's hand away, rubbing at his nose with the palm of his hand. He holds his frown, looking away. "I think you're a dog."

Concerned, Mike cranes his neck to get Josh's attention. "I'm sorry, did you just call me a dog?"

"Yeah, wanna b-bone?" Josh laughs before he can even finish his pun and shoots a sluggish wink at him. He bites the tip of his tongue and pushes forward - knocking both of them to the mattress again.

One moment on the verge of tears because of a misunderstanding, the second making dirty jokes and rolling around; Josh is truly a force of nature.

Drunk or not, he's amazingly relentless.

Mike blinks up at him, lost for words. He would be rolling his eyes and biting back a smirk, but for a second, he actually thinks that Josh has passed out on him. He panics, grasping for Josh's face with a focused desperation. The other boy's eyes are shut, but he has a shit-eating grin on his face, and he kisses Mike for the third time that night.

This is a kissing record for Josh, and he'll probably be pretty irritated about it tomorrow if he can remember any of this. Mike can't wait to explain every tiny detail of their night together - wet eyes and vomit included. Josh is sure to get flustered at least once.

Mike enjoys the kiss, however, and grumbles happily once Josh breaks it. "What am I supposed to do with you?"

"Cherish me as your precious, perfect boyfriend." Josh wiggles an eyebrow, dismounting and rolling to the side of the twin mattress that allows him access to the puke bucket.

Mike scoots closer to the wall, giving his "precious, perfect boyfriend" room to spread out a little. Josh is sure to be hungover in the morning, so the least he could do is give him some room.

This isn't Josh's plan, however, because instead he snuggles as tightly against Mike's chest as he can. The heat is overwhelming, but it's also distracting.

Any other time, if Josh appeared like he was ready for bed, Mike would've had his eyes on the set of index cards sitting on his textbook. Josh isn't allowing that tonight however, his right knee pressed between Mike's legs.

The two boys stare at each other for a moment before Mike nods and places a kiss onto Josh's forehead, offering his chest as a pillow.

"I think I can do that," he whispers as Josh yawns.

"You better."

 

**Author's Note:**

> SURPRISE! NO DICKS WERE SUCKED IN THIS FANFICTION! \O/
> 
> Honestly, this fanfiction was just an excuse for me to write fluff/humor while I take a small break from the angst I'm writing for Mike/Chris. I'm probably going to be writing a series of one-shots for this Universe. I really love this set up, and I want to dive deeper into this Mike and Josh's relationship.


End file.
